One liners .. Most of which are really true

1. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

2. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it.

9. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

10. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

11. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

12. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

17. You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

18. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

19. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

20. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

21. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!